“For a brief moment I abandoned you, but with great tenderness I will take you back…. This is for me like the days of Noah.” (Isaiah 54:8-9)
Hello friends and family in Christ!
It has been a very long time since I’ve broken internet silence, and so much has happened in the last few months. Now though, I finally feel able to share what has been happening in my life lately.
In June I was asked to leave the Philippines and return to the United States. There was a lot of confusion surrounding these events, but after time and much prayer I have decided to leave Family Missions Company now that my two-year commitment is up. It is hard to leave what has been a wonderful community and become my family, but I feel that this is truly what is best for me and what God desires for my life right now. I expected missions with Family Missions Company to be a long-term lifestyle for me; in fact, I said often during my training that I would be a missionary until God said otherwise. He simply said otherwise a lot sooner than I expected!
In the few months since being state-side I have been adjusting to life back here, working a couple seasonal jobs, and letting the Lord show me what he has next. The most frequent question I get is “what’s the plan?” and the best answer I can give is also the hardest: I have no idea.
I like having plans. I like having goals to focus on and things to work towards. As with most people, I like having a purpose. Not having a plan, goal, or purpose is incredibly difficult for me, and these past few months have been a huge learning experience in letting go of control and really letting God show me day by day what comes next. When people ask me what I think I’ll do next or after such and such, I freeze and realise that the only answers I can give are what I know I won’t be doing. I know I won’t be with Family Missions Company. I know I don’t have any desire to work full-time in graphic design at this point. And now I’m quite sure I’m not meant to be a teacher—my time in the Philippines gave me a huge appreciation for all who teach in a classroom and showed me that I am not cut out for it. Other than that, the world is my oyster—and it’s intimidating.
As everything I thought I would be doing has been stripped away suddenly, I find myself in the center of God’s plan. I don’t know where he is leading me or what I will be doing this next year, but still I can see each small manoeuvre he makes in my life to guide me. I think of these moments like small wildflowers in a vast grassy field—though I can’t see anything on the horizon, I can see these little glimpses of color and beauty around me, and I find joy in seeing God’s hand in my life.
These “wildflowers” led to me getting a seasonal job with an amazing family who took me into their home and treated me like their own daughter. Another series of “wildflowers” began with meeting up with Rachel, a friend who did NET Ireland last year, and sharing our missionary experiences. That brief coffee date has brought about an unexpected and exciting adventure for me.
Tomorrow I get on a plane for Ireland to see Rachel and spend a few weeks with her and the NET staff in County Donegal. Going to Ireland has been a long-time dream of mine, and now God has brought about a chance for me to go there at last. I have no idea what will come about during this trip. Basically, I will visit my friend and travel around the country, but how exactly these next six weeks will fill up I am leaving to the best travel agent in the world—Jesus.
Once I come back I will finish the process to leave Family Missions Company. For those of you who have been on my newsletter list or sent donations, you will receive a newsletter with more details and the option to continue supporting FMC. Whatever donations I have received until now will still be available to me to use for future ministry use, whether that’s a mission trip somewhere or further training with other organisations. Thank you so much for your support, and most of all for your prayers. Please continue praying for me. I will keep updating everyone on whatever new adventures God brings to my life, the next one being Ireland.
And for all of you who feel the urge to ask, “What’s after Ireland?”—I don’t know yet, but it will be great!